1. Don’t humiliate guys when you turn them down for a date
If you treat a guy with contempt, he will absolutely tell his guy friends, and you can be sure that none of them are going to be keen to get in line for that kind of humiliation! Instead, you can say something like, “Thank you so much for the compliment of wanting to take me out. I really appreciate that. However, I think I would prefer for us to just stay friends.” After that, don’t avoid them or act weird – just be your natural, friendly self so that you can put them at ease.
2. Don’t reject a guy’s attempts to be chivalrous:
It is absolutely okay for a guy to pay for your dinner, open a door for you, or offer to carry things for you. Let me tell you a little secret: one of the ways that you can tell if a guy likes you, is that he will go out of his way to try to take care of you. If he doesn’t behave that way… well, he’s probably not that into you.
Never feel like you have to “put out” simply because a guy spent money on you. You’re not a prostitute. Your body and love are not for sale for any amount of money or gifts. If that’s what he’s looking for, then he needs to look elsewhere. Besides, the good guys are not paying for your dinner because it comes with strings. They’re doing it because they are trying to be chivalrous and earn your affection and respect. Let them!
3. Don’t chase them.
Okay, girls, I’m going to give it to you straight. Guys are like hunters who love the chase. If a girl is “easy prey” they tend to lose interest. This just comes down to how guys and girls have different natures. A guy might be flattered when a girl shows obvious interest in him, but deep down, the relationship will feel cheap to him if he isn’t the one to do the hard work of winning a girl’s affection.
Allowing a guy to be the leader in the relationship starts from Day 1, so don’t be the one to start the text thread, phone call, or arrange the activity. Be willing to wait for it. If a guy really wants to be with you, he will make it happen! He might need you to drop a hint or two that you’re interested, but leave it there, and see if he picks it up. If he doesn’t, he’s just not interested.
Do you really want to be with a guy who isn’t head over heels for you? There’s nothing worse than feeling like your boyfriend is apathetic toward you, or that who you are isn’t good enough to capture his attention. It’s better to be alone and independent than to be alone in a relationship.
4. Don’t dress over-the-top sexy:
You can be drop-dead gorgeous and still be modest. There’s nothing wrong with looking attractive. However, you need to know that when you walk out your door every day, your appearance says something about you. You can be sloppy and unkempt and it will tell people that you are probably lazy and unprepared. You can also be immodest and show off your body, thus advertising that you are probably willing to give a guy sex if he tries for it. Will you get more attention? Absolutely! However, you’re more likely to attract a guy who’s only interested in your body, not in you as a person. The good guys will probably be turned off, because they don’t want a girl who they think will give away her body that easily. They want a girl who’s character they can be proud of, not a girl who’s got a reputation for being loose. You have so much to offer the world besides sex. Don’t undersell yourself.
5. Don’t act like a diva.
Don’t be afraid to try something new, or step out of your comfort zone. So many girls are so stinkin’ uptight and try to control everything. Trust the guy, and let him plan out the date. If he asks for your preference, don’t be afraid to give him an honest answer. He wants to know how you feel, but do your best to be agreeable. If all you talk about the whole date is what you don’t like and what you don’t do, you can be sure he will not ask you out a second time. No one wants to hang out with someone who acts like a picky toddler who is stubborn and won’t eat their sandwich until someone cuts off the crusts.
6. Don’t be condescending.
There’s a big difference between witty banter and biting sarcasm. I am of the opinion that most sarcasm is an insult with a smile. Make sure that however you’re joking around, you’re never putting the guy down. That is a form of disrespect, and it can damage their self-esteem for life. Although men appear to be very tough, many of them have a very fragile self-esteem. Be the type of girl who builds guys up, not the one who tears him down.
Disrespect to a man is like kryptonite. It eats into his soul, telling him that he is unworthy of the good opinion of the person whom he holds closest to his heart. If she doesn’t think he’s worthy, who would?
7. Don’t tell them what to do.
This is one of the trends that I’ve seen in America today – for girls to have a domineering attitude, and act like guys are bumbling idiots who can’t do anything right. Hear me when I say that this attitude is something that you should put far away from you. Even if you are their boss at work, this is still an attitude that is one that you yourself would be resentful of if the tables were turned. We should all be striving to treat others with the same respect and consideration that we would hope to be treated with ourselves.
You should know that when a girl tells a guy who she’s in a relationship with what to do, it translates as disrespect to him. The same goes for trying to manipulate him into doing what you want him to do. You may think that you’re being sneaky and that he won’t figure it out, but guys can absolutely tell when you’re trying to get around them and they will resent you for it. Instead, ask him politely for what you want. However, he should feel free to not do so without encountering your wrath.
Likewise, when a girl tells her guy how to do things, it says to the guy, “You’re an idiot. Don’t you know that you’re supposed to do it this way?” There are many ways to do things, so don’t be nit-picky with a guy just because he didn’t do something the way that you would have. No man wants to be romantic with his mother, so don’t act like you’re his mom!